the good news

all the days that i've tried
all the nights that i cried and prayed to sleep
only to dream of you
all the ways that i fight
how i've tried with my might to find
the light; a way to tunnel through

and i feel like i've done all the right things
i've done what i'm supposed to do
i feel like i've earned the right now
to healing and something new
could i have healing for something new?

cuz it took me so long to get to
where i was before you
and now,
i'm broken down.
and as painful as this all is to me
i know it won't always be
but i
can no longer fight.
and i've tried so hard and for so long
i deserve to just feel strong
i deserve for this to be gone...
but here's the good news:
some day, i will be over you.

that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger
well, i'm still here
so how much longer til the strength?
or should strength feel like pain?

sparkling concrete

It was a crisp, dewey morning. The kind where you can smell it will be warmer later so you don't wear a coat, even though it's cold, 'cause you know you'll just end up carrying it for most of the day. I was in a decent mood for someone who isn't a morning person. The air was hopeful as it always is on those first days of spring after a blistery winter.

I was walking down the street marvelling at the sidewalk and how someone thought to mix glitter in with the concrete so it would sparkle in the sunlight. It was one of those charming innovations like playing "Singing in the Rain" over the produce section when the mini sprinklers water the vegetables in the grocery store. Unnecessary, but charming. Extra effort for charming-sake. Sparkling concrete- who would've thought. And it was just as I was considering whether they use regular glitter or if there was some special glitter that particularly bonded with concrete that it happened. I wish I had a more momentous scenario to depict for you, but this was honestly it. Let me start from the beginning...