tulips

i loved you forever
a long time ago
we lived out a lifetime
but you'll never know

i made you so happy
you learned how to grow
we had three bright children
that you'll never know

we bought a small house
planted tulips in rows
fought about my decor,
good thing you'll never know.

we spent christmas eve
at your cold island home
with your cold family
like you didn't know

you sifted through jobs
as i taught and i wrote
helped you find your true calling
now you'll never know.

we moved that one summer
and my favorite vase broke
you laughed when i cried
lucky that you don't know

your dad passed away
and you couldn't cope
but i held you each day
not that you'll ever know

our kids went to uni
and got married and so
we felt old together
though you'll never know

i had a health scare
you tried not to show
how you thought you might lose me
but you'll never know.

we sold the big house
used the money to go
all the places we'd dreamed of
not that you'll ever know.

i stroked your face daily
said, "i love you, you know"
and you smiled and nodded
but now you won't know

you left this world first
cuz you needed me most
tulips garnished your grave
though you'd never know.

i loved you forever
but you let me go
so none of this happened
and you'll never know.

i will believe

I'm wond'ring why
My life never goes how I wanted
I'm awake tonight
Grieving dreams that are departed

So sing a song,
Sing a song for me,
Sing a sad song...
Sing a song,
Sing a song for me,
Sing a sad song and I will believe
I'll believe, I'll believe

things to understand about the storm cloud blog

this isn't really a blog so much as it is a dumping ground for my writing.

it's sort of personal, but if i cared that badly about people reading it, it wouldn't be online...duh.

not everything is time/date accurate. a lot of these things i post once they're old, either because i've dealt with it and am releasing it, i forgot about it and put it up there to remind myself to work on it, or i found it on some scrap of paper and put it here so as to not potentially lose it completely.

there are mainly pictures of myself, not cuz i'm vain but because my self-portraits are normally to represent something i was feeling and have a meaning to me that i know noone else gets.

this is not necessarily an accurate example of my writing. this is rough, uncultivated, off the top of my head, emotional stuff.

rosebuds and storm clouds

rosebuds and storm clouds, you told me.
you said you were smitten,
or was it smited?
my heart plus 'that smile', so blinding,
the words that were written,
requited,

but you, you didn't know what you were doing,
started a game without knowing the rules,
and while you were ignorantly pursuing,
thoughtless compliments became nothing but cruel
you were nothing but cruel....


rosebud lips,
storm cloud eyes,
gave one a kiss,
made the others cry,
rosebud lips,
storm cloud eyes,
brought one to life,
made the others die,

rosebuds and storm clouds you told me,
you said you were smitten,
or was it smited?
my heart with my smile, so blinding
how could you resist?
how could anyone fight it?

but you, you didn't know what you were doing,
started a game without knowing the rules
and while you were ignorantly, selfishly pursuing
your thoughtless compliments became nothing but cruel
you were nothing but cruel
you made me love you
you didn't have to
but you made me love you
and it was nothing but cruel

nothing but- rosebuds and storm clouds you told me
you told me
you told me...

:)

your eyes dance over me
your lips breathe symphonies
of compliments...