waiting

where are you? and what's taking you so long...
remind me later to be mad at your tardiness-
you know, after i'm done being grateful for your arrival.
i miss you in a way that hurts.

that's how i know you're real.

red balloon

like a red balloon i let you go,
i saw you drift, i watched you float
right out of my life
though you stayed in sight
against the grey skies
for some time,
for some time...

the good news

all the days that i've tried
all the nights that i cried and prayed to sleep
only to dream of you
all the ways that i fight
how i've tried with my might to find
the light; a way to tunnel through

and i feel like i've done all the right things
i've done what i'm supposed to do
i feel like i've earned the right now
to healing and something new
could i have healing for something new?

cuz it took me so long to get to
where i was before you
and now,
i'm broken down.
and as painful as this all is to me
i know it won't always be
but i
can no longer fight.
and i've tried so hard and for so long
i deserve to just feel strong
i deserve for this to be gone...
but here's the good news:
some day, i will be over you.

that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger
well, i'm still here
so how much longer til the strength?
or should strength feel like pain?

sparkling concrete

It was a crisp, dewey morning. The kind where you can smell it will be warmer later so you don't wear a coat, even though it's cold, 'cause you know you'll just end up carrying it for most of the day. I was in a decent mood for someone who isn't a morning person. The air was hopeful as it always is on those first days of spring after a blistery winter.

I was walking down the street marvelling at the sidewalk and how someone thought to mix glitter in with the concrete so it would sparkle in the sunlight. It was one of those charming innovations like playing "Singing in the Rain" over the produce section when the mini sprinklers water the vegetables in the grocery store. Unnecessary, but charming. Extra effort for charming-sake. Sparkling concrete- who would've thought. And it was just as I was considering whether they use regular glitter or if there was some special glitter that particularly bonded with concrete that it happened. I wish I had a more momentous scenario to depict for you, but this was honestly it. Let me start from the beginning...

a lifetime would be nice

and everytime i'm certain
you make sure that i'm not
and when i try to walk away
you make me stop
you know, this is a worthless fight
cuz i'm never gonna do what's right
when you can change my mind
on the turn of a dime

cheesy and girly and silly- oh my!

you're a kiss on the cheek
you're the skip of a heartbeat
you're strong in a way
that let's my knees know they're weak
you're the touch of a hand
a sidelong stolen glance
you're a boy underneath
who knows how to be a man

you're so delicious
just wanna kiss you
this cycle is vicious-
i keep coming back to you

cuz you make me sing
you make me sing
you make me sing in a way that I don't care who's listening
you make me sing...yeah...yeah:)

gravity

He gallantly extended his hand towards me and I peered up into his eyes. His confident expression faltered and I saw longing, sadness, and even fear behind it. He was really trying and it wasn't easy. I couldn't tell which one of us was more terrified. His hand just stayed there suspended before me as an offering and I realised he'd never been more vulnerable. Finally, I lightly draped my fingers on his palm. In the next second, he pulled me towards him as one draws in breath and my hesitant body unfurled into his chest.